i saw him today. hahahas

i love him

listening to ni de chen nuo






work work work
steamboat with michelle shuqi junhao
fish chyepoh zibing and marcus ytd. lols
above are some pictures, there are some
that i'm still waiting for da jie to send me

brother and his gf stalked me along. ahhas
brother sent both his gf and me home. lols

baby it's been a week since we meet, do you
know how much i miss you?

CNY

listening to shuo hao de xin fu ne

firstly, say hi to chinese new year
secondly, it's a little bored to me
thirdly, i have no idea why i didn't feel really happy.
fourth, watch the or a wedding game, not bad
fifth i just reach home not long ago
lastly i'm a little tired, will gonna rest soon i GUESS!
lols. which mean i'm not sure

weird day

listening to ni de chen nuo

i wasn't feelings very comfortable and happy.
have no idea why.

where is our promise

listening to ni de chen nuo

out with huimien!
hahahs, lazy update

SKIPPED WORK

listening to 如果你也听说

went out with cp and sherie ytd. meet them at town.
didn't went to work for both today and ytd. i have no
idea how to tell my manager tml for excuse. hahahs.

some picture for ytd. =D

i know some picture reflected my messy hair.

but nvm larhs, i'm too lazy too care. my current
few photo will be this, there will be other few photos
to be upload in other days, as my other phone do
not have enough battery to hold on sending pictures.

TODAY 22/01/09
yes, i skipped work today, and i realise shuyan and zhibing
didn't went to work today too. lols. i know we were a little
irresponsible. hahas, but i do not really wanna work, so
how i wish somehow they can sack me now. =X

went to meet baby in the morning, and had a chat about
both of our thing. hopefully things can really changed.
accompanied him till late noon, and he went for his bball
training while i went to retrieve my dress that is being
post to me. lols. and i'm here to blog!

you've been visiting my blog lor, so you better tag me hors!

listening to dai wo zou

ytd was chyepoh birthday short form cp larhs. lols.
went to celebrate his birthday after my work. meet
up with junhao, binglong, yuqiang(fish) kangyang
marcus, michelle and also shuqi to have a plan to
surprise him .

we planned to surprise him by not letting to know
that i was there to celebrate with him. lols. so when
i reach town, we blindfolded him throughout the
whole journey from cine to esplanade. hahahas. and
i couldn't speak throughout the journey. lols.

ky they all bastard, they were videoing and taking
picture of cp, though it was a little embarassing, but
still we all still played with it. LOL.

thinking where we will bring him? LOL
look at ky hand and hp!

you guys look at JH, smiling so happily when cp
is being bullied. LOL.

forget to take a picture of the birthday cake, and also
the birthday boy himself, as everyone was famished
and lethargic, so we went straight for our dinner. lols.

we did surprise cp by letting him thought that i wont
be able to celebrate his birthday with him, and den
i suddenly APPEAR. lols. i know i'm neither his gf
nor crush, and this shouldn't be the way to surprise him.
but in certain way they know why. hahhas.

i mentioned i had a shopping spree with huimien, post
some picture of it.

cotton on, blossomz and i forget.

i mentioned i had CCA fair, and i took pictures with mr kang
my pe teacher. he's so nice larhs.

lastly lastly i mentioned i had rebond my hair. lols

i had three different hairstyle within 3 months
which is nicer. LOLS?

it's been five days, and nothing change.
this five day are you happy? i guess so

listening to wait for you

hmm, didn't blog as usual as i did, but i have no choice.
hahas. i'm working like everyday weekdays. and my life
routine is like, slp eat work sms and oh phone. lols. boring
uh.

16/01/09
went out with huimien two days ago. went over to town
after my work, shop for like hours, and we settle our dinner
at pizza hut. aftermath we went over to lot 1 cotton on
shop to continue our shopping, followed by going over huimien
house , she help me to rebond my hair. yeah, finally i rebond
back my hair. lols. after all i still prefer my straight hair, baby
prefer my straight hair too. lols.

pictures will be update later. hahhaas

17/01/09
was cca fair in school, so me, jiande chyepoh and some of the
UG ex student went back too see see and help out. lols. as i
rebond my hair, i couldn't tie it up, so i told my junior who
ever come near me and touch my hair would have to drop 20.
lols so no one dare to come near me. lols.

after awhile of cca fair, was chatting with jiande and pg wx and
etc for while and they left, i left too. ambulance car brought me
home. ahhahas. intially were to go out with xinru and cousin but
i'm too tired to go out, as i fall asleep while trying to rest on the
bed. hahahas.

ends here. lols

partner do study hard for your upcoming private Os
do have discipline on yourself alright! keep in contact always
upgraded you hors!

almost everyday i'm meeting huimien, recently with her cousin.
slacking at senja grand, chit chat gossip! lols
i'm gonna love her like hell

wordy post

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant.

Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.

To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.


She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.

So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.

The visualization of Dew became vague. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.
Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

If you do happen to finish reading this passage, you'll find that it's really touching..
Though it's really really long & maybe boring .. it's worth the time :)
Marriage is like the vast sea, no boundaries .. so beyond reach

sweet

gotten my result, i mean everyone should have gotten it.
i got 17. still thinking what course to go to.

baby dun be too sad alright, if you need me tell me, i'll
try to be with you.

listening to a song which i have no idea who sing it nor i know the tittle

i will cut short my blog as i have no idea how to blog in proper.
working since monday.


8/1/2009
thursday went out with zhibing and mummy after work, and
bought a top from max&more. and nothing else.

9/1/2009
friday i met baby in the morning at his house, and both of us
were so tired that we slept for an hour plus.

met happy meal family(HMF)to ngee ann poly open house, a
so called gathering, went to know more about course, and i also
did catch up with Esther. only after i catch up with her, then i
realise we both were in the same boat on relationship area.

went clementi to have dinner with, shuqi fish michelle zibing and
also cp. the food sucks, and i even asked the aunty to change
a new serving to us. had a tiff with THL.

10/1/1009
went RP open house today, with jh and gf(sharon) haojie, michelle
and also chyepoh. met my sjab binglong hahas, i miss you =D

today i meet him again, but for less than an hour, as both of us
were tired, so after our dinner at west mall, we left.


i realise i became very sensitive or sometime over sensitive, you're not the one who told me this, but
i somehow felt that i change when i step into this relationship. i didn't want myself to turn like this
but i'm so sorry, idk whether you ever blame me for this, but somehow i'm unhappy about myself
being like this. i tends to be selfish and wanted to keep you alone with me, but i knew that was impossible.
i always think that we are spending lesser time with each other, that might be cos i'm working and
you were also working at that time, so to me we ain't putting much effort in our relationship. i'm afraid
this relationship would be gone very soon, i never want to commit in relationship in the past, but this time
round, i committed. i don expect you to do the same thing as i do, but i do hope, and we will improve.
but i'm glad to see that we are doing fine now, though we still didn't spend much time with each other, but
i think, and i believe we will try to spend more time with each other, even just like today within an hour or
something. i will change. you too alright?

baby sorry, and i love you=D
missing you right now!

I MISS YOU LARHS!
you idiot lorrs.

listening to wait for you

hmm, idk why, but i fcuking hate this kind of feelings
please note, this isn't referring to relationship.
i always have this weird feeling and i don feel that
good but idk why am i feeling it. nvm forget about it.

went wedding dinner last night, take quite alot of picture
with cousin and etc. but i lazy to update now, sorry. lols

zhibing xinru jiongyang fish and wuqi came over my
house to stayed over night, we were mahjong-ing all
the way, manage to catch some wink, and mahjong again.
they just went home, so i going to sleep soon i guess.

we have no fate=( lols

when you fucking don care about yourself
care about us, you ain't living alone.

was chatting with wilyn till i hahas laugh when looking
at the laptop, idk why! lols. and i said i permed my hair,
so ppl, which is nicer?

once again, i teared
no one know how its feel
fuck!

perm-ed my hair
hair became shorter
picture would be upload soon

saw yanru, esther, zuguang, and etc
we simply walk pass each other, wonder
if they saw me?

ountdown to 2009, it meant to be very important to me
but you wasn't there. you never failed to do so.

it wasn't a joyful day for both the last day of 2008 of
new day of 2009. lacking of something